Living rent free in my head

Tales of teen suicides during this neverending pandemic make me grateful that my kids are still young enough to have the resilience that young ‘uns are blessed with. Whilst social media exists to them, it isn’t all encompassing.

Humans are plain cruel. Being forced to live your teen years online while under lockdown must be soul crushing.

Can’t deny that my social media feeds make me feel that I am too fat, not a good enough mom, or generally inadequate really often.

If only I could be like Jason and just enjoy bone or joint cracking ASMR videos.

Instead, I feel I’m constantly seeing what I have yet to achieve, buy or become. I used to feel this way after reading magazines but back then I could mentally compartmentalize it away. The models or celebrities were just remote statistical anomalies who “made it” into magazines. No need to compare.

It is hard to remind myself that everyone is just putting up a façade. Displaying their life highlight reel, just like I am too. Questions like why some people have so much more to highlight etc. creeps in.

If at this age I struggle to deal with this shit, what more angsty teenagers?

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